Today was definitely one of the the toughest days I've had in awhile. All summer I have been taking this EMS class and going through it with flying colors. I have basically made a few of the exams and tutored some other students to help out and never had a problem. I felt I was miles ahead of everyone else. My national registry exam was this morning and because the class had been so easy I didn't even study for it. I walked out of the exam after an hour and felt my heart dragging behind me. I just had a pitting feeling in my stomach about the exam and it turns out I did not pass it. I really couldn't believe it. I'm still pretty upset about it. I've been told by a handful of people, including my EMS professor, that I would have trouble with the exam because I over analyze everything and tend to look at the scenarios as more of a Doctor than an EMT. The whole purpose of this test is to be basic basic basic. It's so hard for me to do that because I constantly and thinking of the underlying diagnosis and what should be done for long term treatment and that is not how this works. After hitting my steering wheel so hard I hurt my hand today and buying a study guide I felt a little better. I spoke to a PA I shadow and he encouraged me and said most people don't pass their first time, but it still makes me feel like I'm an idiot.
Although this has been an overall pretty rough day; I spoke with my grandpa and like always he just restored my confidence. He told me, "Saylor without the valley, there would be no mountain to climb." My grandpa is facing so many battles in his own life, but he is the most selfless person in the world and he is the only person that can make me feel like I deserve to keep continuing. He's the only person I know that I don't have to work to impress and that he would be proud of me no matter what. This is one of my low points and a reality check, but I'm thankful to always have people in my life that can pick me back up when I've been knocked down.